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614 Bragg Hill Rd.
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Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT)
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Rejection doesn't just apply for college, it applies for women too...
Let's face it: rejection is just a part of life. We have all been rejected at one time or another, while we were working toward a relationship on a dating website or outside of the internet. We have invested ourselves and then been burned by women who have rejected us. It is not a fun time, an experience that anyone enjoys, and sugarcoating it will not help. It is going to happen and you are going to hate it. However, what is really important is how you deal with it. There are a number of things that you can do to deal with rejection, that can help you get through this difficult time and move on with your life. You may even find that you come out the other side of the relationship stronger and more aware of who you are and what you want and need.
First, it is good to learn from your mistakes. Did you get rejected because you made a bad first impression? First impressions are crucial, especially when meeting someone from a dating site, and you may have messed it up. Perhaps you came across as too forceful or too controlling. Maybe you seemed too sexually interested, and she was worried that you would want too much, too fast. These are some things that happen from time to time, and can lead to rejection, often even if you have the best of intentions. Once you have figured out what you did wrong, you can deal with rejection by working to change that in the future. You will need to view the rejection not as something that has ruined your life, but as something that has pushed it in a new and better direction. We all stumble along the way, no matter what we are trying to do. This is true with anything, from business dreams to athletic attempts to forays into the dating world. What is important is not whether or not we succeed, but how well we are able to rebound from the times that we are held back. This is the crucial thing in life, and a rejection in the dating world can be a life-changing moment that you will look back on years later and be happy for, since it helped to turn your life in the right direction.
You will need to pinpoint what you did wrong. This can sometimes be painful, because it means that you have to admit that you made a mistake. Did you try to be interested in where she lived and what she was doing in an honest attempt to make conversation, but come across as creepy? Did you really try to tell her how beautiful she looked and come across as only being interested in sex? Once you have figured this out, you can take positive action to fix the problem. Maybe you need to ask less questions about her background and instead ask more about what she is interested in. Maybe you need to keep your compliments confined at first to her clothes and not her body. These are things that you can consciously change about yourself to help rejection lead you to future success. This can work in all stages of a relationship, whether in the initial stages or in the long-term stages. You will be allowed a little more freedom in the long-term stages, because she will know you better, but it is still important to make sure that you are not creepy, overbearing, or any of the rest. To make a woman like you, you need to be a little mysterious. This should not, however, mean that you are creepy or weird. It should instead mean that you are different and intriguing. You can take the things that you learn as you deal with rejection, and use them to make sure that you always come across as mysterious and desirable. In the wake of rejection, you will find yourself getting any woman you want.
So you've been rejected. It's tough, and if you're on this page, it's probably still hurting.
The first step is to take stock of your attitude and realize how you've been coping - or not coping. It's possible you've been stewing in your rejection and you've turned into one of the types below. If you recognize the signs, keep reading and see how you can fix it.
1: The Cynic
The world sucks. People will always disappoint you. There's no use in trying for anything, because it's not like you'll succeed anyway. This is harmful, self-destructive attitude that isn't doing you any favors. Good things won't just fall in your lap - you have to work for them. And if sometimes your efforts fail, so what? Improve your technique. Keep trying. We're taught as early as kindergarten that if you fall off your bike, you have to get back up again. Do you really have less tenacity and inner strength than a kindergartner?
2: The Control Freak
You've been rejected once, and you're determined it will never happen again. You've responded to something out of your control - the other person rejecting you - by seizing power over everything in your grasp. You'll be ready next time. This is how stalkers and micro-mangers are born. You become driven with an obsession to know, see, and prepare for everything, without understanding that it simply isn't possible. You can't account for everything and you'll drive yourself crazy trying. Calm down and accept your limitations. Recognize that some things are just out of your hands. You can't control life. It will happen with or without your approval.
3: The Bitter Jerk
There's nothing wrong with you. It's them, all of *them*. You stop trying to succeed and stew in your own inflated sense of martyrdom. No one understands you. That internship wasn't good for you, anyway. All women are whores.
This is perhaps the strongest reaction you can have, and it also tends to be the most common. You need to cool your ego and stop feeling so wronged. Rejection happens. It's a part of life. No one is ever successful 100% of the time, and you weren't born as the one shining exception to human nature. Look around and realize you're a part of humanity just like everyone else. All people have faced this kind of hurt and disappointment before. If they've gotten over it, so can you. If you've been rejected, try not to dwell on it. Instead of stewing in misery and feelings of failure, get out and accept a new challenge that will rejuvenate your sense of purpose. Being rejected doesn't have to be the end of your life. The most important lesson is to not take it personally. You may feel like you've done something wrong, like you're not good enough, but that just isn't the case. Being rejected isn't about personal flaws - it's about incompatibility with what you seek. If you've been turned down by a woman, it doesn't have to mean there's anything wrong with you OR her. It could just mean that you two have different interests and personalities, and a rejection now is saving you from an inevitable breakup later. If you've passed over for a promotion at work, it doesn't mean you aren't good enough for the job - just that you're not what they're looking for. Maybe you're not bossy enough to be a supervisor. Maybe they're looking for a team player but your best work is done when you don't have other idiots around distracting you.
It may not seem like it, but there's always a bright side to rejection. Look at it this way - dealing with a little hurt now is better than even worse consequences down the road, right? Awkward dates, arguments, meltdowns at work. Sometimes a rejection can be a blessing in disguise. Maybe that girl had crazy parents. Maybe that college would've made you miserable. Chin up. Don't let yourself become consumed with your rejection, and don't turn into a loser who alienates everyone around you with your bitterness and depression. Be a stronger man who can take his lumps and emerge even better on the other side - he's within you, and all you need to do is find him.